My insolence

Teacher: Do you remember anything when you see my face?
Me: I remember a lot of things indeed. However, they're best left unsaid.

Donkey- Shrek's friend

(Donkey is singing)
Shrek: Stop singing! It's no wonder you haven't got any friends.
Donkey: Only a true friend would be that truly honest.

Jack's humor

(Sound of canons)
Jack: I know those guns. It's the pearl.
Prisoner: The black pearl. I've heard stories. She never leaves any survivors.
Jack: No survivors? Then where did the stories come from I wonder.

Jack's wit

(Jack is walking toward a dock when two guards stop him)
Guard 1: This dock is off limits to civilians.
Jack: I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately.

Donkey's diplomacy

(Shrek just found out that Fiona's father paid Puss to kill Shrek)
Shrek: So much for dad's royal blessing.
Donkey: Gee Shrek, don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.
Shrek: Gee thanks!

Before Castle's first case

(Castle and Alexis are talking at a party before his first case)
Castle: And it's just these parties. They've become so predictable. "I'm your biggest fan" "Where do you get your ideas?"
Alexis: And the ever popular "Will you sign my chest?"
Castle: That one I don't mind so much.
Alexis: Well, FYI, I do.
Castle: I just want someone to come up to me and say something new.
Beckett: Mr. Castle?
Castle: Where would you like it?
Beckett: Kate Beckett, NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight.
Alexis: That's new.

Neal's pride

Person: Calling the confederate a motorcycle is like calling the queen of England a rich old lady with a funny accent.
Neal: But it's still a motorcycle.
Person: This is so much more. Have you ever had the feeling of a hundred grand in between your legs?
Neal: Actually yes...
Peter: Don't!

Classic Shrek

(Shrek, Donkey and Puss are bound in the dungeons)
Donkey: Let me go! Hey what about my miranda rights? You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. Nobody said I have the right to remain silent.
Shrek: Donkey you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.

Con-artist Neal

(Woman drives up to meet Caffrey as a charity's representative)
Mozzie: Already I don't trust this woman.
Neal: Because she drove here?
Mozzie: A New Yorker who doesn't take the subway is not a New Yorker you can trust.
Neal: I don't take the subway.
Mozzie: Precisely.